Wifinghood -

To add to my list of loves, I LOVE being a wife! I know I have written before about how much I love marriage, but even more than that I love being a wife! And even more than that, I love being TROY'S wife! Wife. Wow, a title that for so many years I didn't think I would have. I remember right after we got married I had to exchange something for Troy, and LOVED telling the sales clerk that "my husband" didn't care for whatever it was. I must have found a way to slip the word "husband" into the conversation every sentence or so. Wonder if it was that or the extra sparkly ring that gave away the fact I was a newlywed? I think about that moment sometimes and even though I am coming up on our 2 year anniversary, I hope that the thrill of calling him my husband never fades.

The best part of being a wife is..... everything! Actually, it really is for me! It is everything I always wanted. I love cleaning the house when Troy is gone so that when he comes home I know it smells good and looks good. I try to always meet him at the door with a hug and kiss, no matter what else I am doing when he gets home, so that he feels welcomed home and king of his castle (so to speak). I don't always accomplish it, but I try! I love doing his laundry and making sure he has everything he needs to get through the day/week. I love planning dinners and finding recipes I think he will like. I still love writing my new last name, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I see things addressed to "Mr. and Mrs."

Of course, much of the credit goes to Troy. He is a wonderful husband! He always notices my efforts and expresses appreciation. When he compliments me or something I did, I feel like a child beaming over a parent's praise. I always want him to be so proud of me, our home, and our marriage. And on the days I do fail - like not getting a shirt washed that he wanted to wear, or I didn't get to the grocery store so popcorn is dinner, or the house looks like a hurricane tore through, he never acts annoyed. He encourages me that everything is fine, it's not a big deal, and then he helps me get back on track. But I feel so much peace when I know I have done everything for him that I can.

I take it seriously to have the job of being his partner and encourager. I believe God created me for Troy, to be his friend and his helper. I believe my job is to make Troy's life easier and help him accomplish all he sets out to do, and all that God calls him to do. I know I don't always make his life easier, and I try to make up for those times. I never want to be a burden - only a blessing. I never want to be a nagful wife, but a wife who loves her husband for who he is. Good or bad, that's him, and I made a lifetime commitment.

As you all know, I am anxious to have another title - mother. But that is another time and another post. I have been blessed to be a wife almost 2 years, and every day I pray the novelty never wears off. I hope in 20 years people still think I am a glowing newlywed. And with the husband God has given me, it is quite possible!

Proverbs 31:10-12 "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

You're Gonna Miss This

So, as I've said before, I love music and the lyrics of music. Today I heard a song for the first time that put into words exactly one of the lessons I am trying to learn. As I have stated before in my posts - I really want to learn to be happy in the here and now, and not rush the future. Because, you never know what the future brings. Last time I wrote that, just a few weeks later my Gramps passed away. Sadly, my words came true - the future does not always bring happiness. So, enjoy the lyrics I wrote out of Trace Adkins "You're Gonna Miss This", and be happy for the blessings of today. I know I am.

"She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this

Yeah, you're gonna miss this"

Life's Not Fair

Well, it's been a while since I have written on here. Life has been.... busy! My new niece and nephew arrived from Ethiopia (LOVE them!), I took a trip to Cincinnati to visit my BFF (love her too!), and throughout the business I have continued to walk through the loss of my Gramps. I would love to say that in the midst of all that, I got pregnant again, but unfortunately that has not been the case.

Recently I have struggled with the fact that life is not fair. A good example is a lady I know who was surprised to find that she is pregnant. She is not sure if she's excited about it, and has yet to kick her smoking habit as well as other things that are not good for the baby, giving the appearance of feeling apathetic about the pregnancy. A part of me wants to say "really God? this person who doesn't want another child gets pregnant, and I can't?". It makes me want to cry. It makes me want to scream. It's. Not. Fair. But what do mothers tell their children from about the age of 1? "Life's not fair."

What a no-fun lesson to learn! But it's true. I feel like God must get tired of teaching me to be more gracious and patient. I really am trying Lord! Maybe one of these days I will actually pass. I can tell that for each month I'm not pregnant, it gets a little harder to be happy for others who are. And that makes me feel ashamed. I should not have to force myself to smile and say "congrats!", it should be effortless. Although, I really am happy for them! Just sad and a bit jealous that it isn't me. And also confused. Confused why now doesn't seem to be in God's timing for me to get pregnant.

I daily work on my attitude, and I am thankful that through all of my losses, disappointments, and struggles these past 6 months, I have a faithful God I can turn to, and a supportive husband who patiently holds me and lets me cry and vent as much as I need to. I still am a very blessed woman and have much to be thankful. Even when life isn't fair.