Last week I felt like light shone down on me, filling me with hope and excitement for the first time in 6 months! It would seem we have an answer to what caused my miscarriage, and why I have been unable to get pregnant since then! It is an easy, inexpensive fix, and unless God determines otherwise, should work! Long story short, and without getting TOO personal, I have a hormone defiency which was causing all sorts of frustrations for me, even the pregnancy part aside.
Amazing how our bodies are made - everything to work perfectly with each other. And when just one small thing is off, it's crazy to see the long list of problems and side effects that are caused by it. We certainly are "fearfully and wonderfully" made.
My stomach flip-flops to think that maybe now, after all this waiting, our time of getting pregnant and carrying it 9 months could be just around the corner! I have wanted this so badly for so long (really, all my life!), but it still is so terrifying! And, of course, I continue to battle a little bit of fear that this still won't work, and/or I will miscarry again anyway. But, I have far less apprehension than before, and am finally feeling excited for our future!
Thank you Lord for the wisdom of doctors, the ability to receive care, and the fact that You have everything in Your hands. At the end of the day, God still holds my world, and determines what comes our way because we have asked Him to take control of our lives. I still have to work on not fighting for control, and letting things come or go. We aren't there yet, but the journey has at least become much more enjoyable!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Is Adoption Right For Us?
Troy and I are considering adoption. Maybe I should be more specific - Troy and I are considering adopting a DOG! ;-) Ha! Gotcha! Truthfully though, we are. And even though it is just a pet, it's still a big decision. We have 2 dogs already. Well, sorta. We have one true dog, and one dog that really is more like a cat. The cat-dog would be most happy if we never made her go for walks, gave her full access to the garbages, and let her sleep on our laps all day long. Our dog-dog needs a playmate, as the cat-dog will have nothing to with her. Unless, you call the cat-dog biting the dog-dog's ankles and stealing her treats and bed "interaction" or "playing". We call it playing because it makes the cat-dog sound nicer than she is.
Since our dog-dog (hereinafter "Lucy") is a Ridgeback mix and acts/looks like a full-blooded one, we have come to admire, enjoy, and appreciate the breed. However, if we were ever to purchase a purebred from a breeder, they are easily $1,000.00 - too much for us to spend on a pet. So we have been looking into the "Ridgeback Rescue" places in hopes of maybe getting one that way. Plus, we can feel like good citizens for rescuing a dog and giving it a good home. I randomly check the sites and scan the adoptable dogs, to see if there are any that stand out to me. Well, about a month ago, one did. Her name is Melody, she is 6-years old, and has the sweetest little face that melted my heart.
The process of adopting a rescue dog is hilarious. Truly, it mirrors adopting a child. First, I had to fill out a very long and detailed application, with questions like "why do you feel a Ridgeback is the right breed for your family? where would the dog sleep? would you use a crate, and why or why not? what books have you read on dog training and/or on Ridgebacks?". Next, we wait for our phone interview, which we finally had about 2-3 weeks after submitting the application. The same person who did our interview then proceeded to call our 3 references we were required to put down on our application, including our vet. Finally, I was allowed to speak with Melody's "foster" mom yesterday and learn more about the dog. Oh, and did I mention we are waiting for our home check now? Yes, that's right - a home check. If we pass our home check this weekend, Melody's foster mom would drive her over from Billings the following weekend. So we potentially could have her in less than 2 weeks!!!
Several things brought us to the point of considering another dog. A) Lucy would LOVE a playmate, B) I am a crazy animal person who would run a zoo if Troy would let me, C) Being MT, I do hike a lot by myself and truly would feel safer having 2 big dogs with me (Ridgebacks are considered to be very protective of their home and family, but not aggressive guard dogs, so a great balance), and D) Sincerely, I needed something to distract me from thinking about the fact that after 6 months of "trying", I still am not pregnant.
So, no decisions have been made yet with Melody. She is a very sweet dog, great with children and other dogs, however she does have issues. She was a breeder in a puppy mill set up, and is used to a life of just living in a crate. Because of it, she has anxiety with being confined, and is having to learn to use the yard for her bathroom. She is not used to walks, or acting like a "real" dog, and the world is still a very scary place for her. However, she does seem to be improving.
With those issues, we understand that taking her in would be a lot of work, especially at first. We have no doubt she would be worth it, but just analyzing if we truly have the time to give her what she needs. Could she ever be "normal"? Would she be a good buddy for Lucy? Would she ever really bond to us?
I must keep myself from looking at her pictures because otherwise all logical thinking goes away, and when I see that sweet face, I just want to love her and make her mine. Heck, after going through all of this, maybe we should have just adopted a child!
Since our dog-dog (hereinafter "Lucy") is a Ridgeback mix and acts/looks like a full-blooded one, we have come to admire, enjoy, and appreciate the breed. However, if we were ever to purchase a purebred from a breeder, they are easily $1,000.00 - too much for us to spend on a pet. So we have been looking into the "Ridgeback Rescue" places in hopes of maybe getting one that way. Plus, we can feel like good citizens for rescuing a dog and giving it a good home. I randomly check the sites and scan the adoptable dogs, to see if there are any that stand out to me. Well, about a month ago, one did. Her name is Melody, she is 6-years old, and has the sweetest little face that melted my heart.
The process of adopting a rescue dog is hilarious. Truly, it mirrors adopting a child. First, I had to fill out a very long and detailed application, with questions like "why do you feel a Ridgeback is the right breed for your family? where would the dog sleep? would you use a crate, and why or why not? what books have you read on dog training and/or on Ridgebacks?". Next, we wait for our phone interview, which we finally had about 2-3 weeks after submitting the application. The same person who did our interview then proceeded to call our 3 references we were required to put down on our application, including our vet. Finally, I was allowed to speak with Melody's "foster" mom yesterday and learn more about the dog. Oh, and did I mention we are waiting for our home check now? Yes, that's right - a home check. If we pass our home check this weekend, Melody's foster mom would drive her over from Billings the following weekend. So we potentially could have her in less than 2 weeks!!!
Several things brought us to the point of considering another dog. A) Lucy would LOVE a playmate, B) I am a crazy animal person who would run a zoo if Troy would let me, C) Being MT, I do hike a lot by myself and truly would feel safer having 2 big dogs with me (Ridgebacks are considered to be very protective of their home and family, but not aggressive guard dogs, so a great balance), and D) Sincerely, I needed something to distract me from thinking about the fact that after 6 months of "trying", I still am not pregnant.
So, no decisions have been made yet with Melody. She is a very sweet dog, great with children and other dogs, however she does have issues. She was a breeder in a puppy mill set up, and is used to a life of just living in a crate. Because of it, she has anxiety with being confined, and is having to learn to use the yard for her bathroom. She is not used to walks, or acting like a "real" dog, and the world is still a very scary place for her. However, she does seem to be improving.
With those issues, we understand that taking her in would be a lot of work, especially at first. We have no doubt she would be worth it, but just analyzing if we truly have the time to give her what she needs. Could she ever be "normal"? Would she be a good buddy for Lucy? Would she ever really bond to us?
I must keep myself from looking at her pictures because otherwise all logical thinking goes away, and when I see that sweet face, I just want to love her and make her mine. Heck, after going through all of this, maybe we should have just adopted a child!
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