Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Answers!

Last week I felt like light shone down on me, filling me with hope and excitement for the first time in 6 months! It would seem we have an answer to what caused my miscarriage, and why I have been unable to get pregnant since then! It is an easy, inexpensive fix, and unless God determines otherwise, should work! Long story short, and without getting TOO personal, I have a hormone defiency which was causing all sorts of frustrations for me, even the pregnancy part aside.

Amazing how our bodies are made - everything to work perfectly with each other. And when just one small thing is off, it's crazy to see the long list of problems and side effects that are caused by it. We certainly are "fearfully and wonderfully" made.

My stomach flip-flops to think that maybe now, after all this waiting, our time of getting pregnant and carrying it 9 months could be just around the corner! I have wanted this so badly for so long (really, all my life!), but it still is so terrifying! And, of course, I continue to battle a little bit of fear that this still won't work, and/or I will miscarry again anyway. But, I have far less apprehension than before, and am finally feeling excited for our future!

Thank you Lord for the wisdom of doctors, the ability to receive care, and the fact that You have everything in Your hands. At the end of the day, God still holds my world, and determines what comes our way because we have asked Him to take control of our lives. I still have to work on not fighting for control, and letting things come or go. We aren't there yet, but the journey has at least become much more enjoyable!

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