Mommyhood -

Mommyhood is awesome! I love my baby. I love being home with her and taking care of her. Okay, and I will admit, I LOVE dressing her up! haha! Hope is 3 weeks old now, and doing absolutely great. She is such an easy baby - so passive and sweet. And a sleeper! This girl is practically sleeping through the night already! She is so very precious.

I still cry a lot, but my tears have changed. They are now tears of gratitude and love. God has trusted us with such a precious, precious, gift! However, I do cry for another reason too. I cry because I know this is the only time in her life that I can protect her from almost anything. No one is hurting her physically, no one is hurting her emotionally. She is oblivious to pain except maybe a hungry tummy, which we take care of immediately. I cry knowing that one day she will know pain - it is impossible to avoid. I cry that she has been born into an often scary and painful world. If I could keep her at this stage in life, I would. But, that just isn't how it works. And I am thankful that she is so healthy and will continue to grow and blossom, as God intended.

It's scary to love so much. And now two people walk around this earth carrying my heart - Troy and Hope. It's wonderful and terrible all at the same time. I have to rebuke the fear of losing either one of them. Instead, I must focus on the blessings of each day and the joyful times we have. Thank you Lord, with everything in me, for all that I have been given!