"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I have had a new sense of peace since my last post. I have not miscarried yet, but still am having symptoms. Tomorrow I go in to have my levels checked. If they are high and right on track, then I will know that everything is fine for the time being, but if they are low, then I will have to prepare myself that my body is probably miscarrying. It's tough. But it is something I can not change, therefore I must accept it for what it is. I think I was becoming too drained stressing and worrying about it 24/7. I wasn't sleeping. I was crying all of the time. And nothing has happened yet! I still have a chance of it being okay!
The only thing I want more than this baby is God's perfect plan for our family. I want to tell of His great faithfulness no matter the outcome. Because He IS faithful. I read a quote recently that I printed out and have it hanging on our refridgerater. It says "Love of God is pure when joy and suffering inspire an equal degree of gratitude." I want to live that daily.
So, needless to say I still am a bit nervous for tomorrow's test. I find myself thinking "what if it's bad news?". But then at the same time I have ask "but what if it's good news?". And ultimately, no matter what my eyes see, my God is in complete control and He is faithful. And helping me accept what I can not change.
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